I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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