it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she pinky promised me she was 18
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
