sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
