You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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