waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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