Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
