Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
