i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
