a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
