i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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