what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish i was in the wii world.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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