Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women

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(919): View more from North Carolina

please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys

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(204): View more from Manitoba

between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!

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(574): View more from Indiana

my professor just said "the power of the situation"

(216): View more from Ohio

drink

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He stole my heart. I stole his identity.

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