Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
