what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
