Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
