But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
