I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i've created a new STD.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
