You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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