just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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