adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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