Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The Olympian is in my bed
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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