I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
