I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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