He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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