One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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