My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
