I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
