Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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