just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
