a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
