Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
