Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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