They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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