My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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