brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
