I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
