Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
it was like eating out sand paper
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
