Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
what the fuck happened to the tacos
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
