Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
