i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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