remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize