you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
