This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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