Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
