she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
