bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
