Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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