somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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