my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
