he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize
